jessi

par-tay!!

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 00:42:23 GMT

("\ (-_-) /") put ya hands, in tha air... wave em round like u just dont care...

so i decided that im going to have a party.... a Fraggle Rock party. i go the complete first season of Fraggle Rock for Christmas from my sister.... and i know that i, personally, grew up on the Fraggles.... i know james remembers them, but im not sure if everyone else knows what the fuck im talkin about... lol, everyones prolly goin "Fraggle, what the fuck is a Fraggle" im not sure exatly when this par-tay-o-Fraggle is going to be... but i know i think it would be fun!! let me know what u crazy kids think!!

DANCE YOUR CARES AWAY, WORRIES FOR ANOTHER DA-A-AY, LET THE MUSIC PLAY.... DOWN AT FRAGGLE ROCK. WORK YOUR CARES AWAY, DANCING FOR ANOTHER DA-A-AY, LET THE FRAGGLES PLAY.... DOWN AT FRAGGLE ROCK... DOWN AT FRAGGLE ROCK.... DOWN AT FRAGGLE ROCK.... BAM!

so whats new kids?? since this is kind of a one sided conversation, ill tell u whats new with me. in case any of u didnt know, IIIIIIII, TaTeR, joined a gym. i joined on the 29th of December, and ive gone almost everyday, the only times ive missed are due to circumstances which were out of my control. i know, i know, its hard to believe that there are things in this world which i do not control.... but tis true, tis true... ANYWHO!!! so alright.... theres this one bitch ((whom ive dubbed Pinkie)) is in there at 1:30 everyday. shes like 55, and always, dressed in pink. pink shirt, pink pants, pink shoes, pink shoeLACES, pink gym bag, shes got a pink I-pod, and her fuckin sweat towel is pink. it looks like a fuckin pepto-bismol factory threw up on whatever equipment shes workin on. but whatever!! just thought i would emlighten you all!! peace love, and.... well, sex! ((safe sex, of course!!)) uh, ummm... i.... er.... uh, i mean, ABSTINANCE IS THE PATH TO THE LIGHT!!

lalaland

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 21:54:32 GMT

((to be read in loud booming voice, as if through megaphone)) hello children on LaLaLand!! i would first and foremost like to thank each and everyone of u individually for visiting my, uh, i mean OUR lovely city!! once you visit the amazing world of LaLaLand, you will forever have the image of a big toe imprinted on ur forehead!! thank you for visiting!!

hey kids!!

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 01:00:39 GMT

hey you crazy kids!! so im finally crumbling to peer pressure!! im gonna TRY, try being the keyword, TRY to kind of keep everybody updated on whats goin on in my life.... lol, actually, im prolly just gonna get on here quarterly like i do now... but ya know, im gonna try. hopefully this can just be funny shit, and u guys can look to read my LJ as a way of releiving stress, and taking a load off.... maybe itll be your own little drug free way of escaping reality... hell, i dont fuckin know. but ya know what? im just gonna try to enjoy my LJ posts, and if u think tis dumb, or pointless, chances are, it is, but just stop reading, alright?
ok, high five, vote for me!!

the president of the world HIGH FIVE VOTE FOR ME!!

Thu, 24 Feb 2005 01:42:20 GMT

so yes. eli, mike and i decided that i was going to become the president of the world. not just of the united states, but of the world. see, we found out in US History today that Franklin D. Roosevelt married his cousin. then some other shit, then another president had an affair w/ this ugly bitch, soooooooo, we decided that i was going to marry my cousin. i would then divorce him to have sex w/ an ugly man. THEN i would marry my OTHER cousin, and cheat on HER w/ an ugly WOMAN. THEN, i would get pregnant by cheating on my cousin im married to, w/ the ugly cousin i divorced at first. so that way, i wouLD cover all the angles, and HAVE to be made president of the world!!! every time all the littler world leaders meet up w/ me, we would meet at tims house, and play twister and hangman. at first i thought scrabble, but then i realized that i dont like scrabble. weve got it all worked out. jonathan is going to run my campaign, and everyone in the music hall is going to vote for me! woo hoo! i went around telling everyone that i was gonna be president of the world, and everyone seemed pretty excited about it. and tim was pretty interested in it too. and im gonna be his sugar mama. that way he doesnt have to work, and i can make the money. its gonna be good guys, its gonna be good! and remember, HIGH FIVE VOTE FOR ME!!!

Hello World!

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 00:35:36 GMT

yes, hello! so hows it goin? its goin pretty ok w/ me. i had a wonderful dinner/lunch thing w/ mel-va-roni. i wanted a chicken sandwhich from EL King de Burger like all day. well, really just any chicken, but i knew that was the closest, and it sounded really fuckin good. so i had a spicy chicken sandwhich for lunch, then a chicken sandwhich w/ large fries and a large coke after musical. then i walk in teh door, and guess what my mom fixed for dinner. chicken, french fries and mac & che. sooooo, since my mom NEVER cooks dinner, i felt obligated to eat it. so i am like havin a chicken fuckin overload right now. but i think i might have made melvin feel a lil better than he did before we went, so all the chicken thats now in my stomach was more than worth it!

i was told that i should write in my livejournal. so even though i do, i assumed that the person who told me i should do this told me becuz they want to know whats goin on in my life. so then i said to myself, theres no point in writin in it, if im not gonna let other people see it, cuz im sure as hell never gonna read it. fuck, most of the time, i type shit on word, and then delete it all.... sometimes i need to just get everything out. i dont see the point in keeping the bad things though, so i only keep the good things written down. the bad things i delete, or shred. so, heres my advice to you all: keep only the things that you WANT to remember. if its bad, you probably dont want to remember it, so throw it away. whatever it was, throw that fuckin piece of shit in the fuckin garbage! that way, when youre down, and you look to your journal, or whatever you look to, all you see is good, uplifting things that will hopefully make you feel better! so there is my advice! that and dont let the man get you down. damn the man!

funny as fuck

Sat, 07 Feb 2004 14:59:45 GMT

The Tomato Company

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and
three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily
passes an aptitude test.

The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at
minimum
wage of $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we
can
get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the
forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first
day."

Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a
computer nor an e-mail address.

To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company
like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an
e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech
firm. Good day."

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in
his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling
25lb crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to
a busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he sells
all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process
several
times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home
that
night with several bags of groceries for his family.

During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next
day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and
working into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly.

Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes
of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to
buy a broken-down pickup truck.

At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left
their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his
wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses
at the community college so she can keep books for him.

By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks
and
employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes.

He continues to work hard.

Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice
trucks and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato
farms
that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds
of
homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the
business grossed a million dollars.

Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance.
Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to
fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail
address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a
computer
and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned, "What, you
don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you
would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"

"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be
sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.15 an hour."